I have always considered that living as if you were dying would produce the you you were truly meant to be. It is the place that we find our values and priorities. We stop comparing or trying to please others, rather we set out to live the life we believe we should live; one that we are proud of.
However, I have found that when I have asked others how they would spend their time if they knew they would die in a month? They often answer with traveling; and while they may identify with who and where and by this identify who is important to them. One cannot live this lifestyle unless you are dying and, therefore, cannot begin to “live” until they are dying.
Then I read The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. In his chapter on death, he claimed the same truths as I have believed: that we are all dying and that the moments we live are precious, treat them as such. However, he takes it a bit deeper to say it is not the time to chase everything we have never done, rather, it’s time to be in the present, treating every moment as the last. It is the time to appreciate the rain and the trees and the conversations and the people and all the situations life puts in front of us like it is the last time we will ever have them. How might we be different if we paused to take note? To soak in the beauty, the opportunity, the pain, the joy? How might we appreciate what we may never have again?
The truth is, in every moment, it is our last! We will never have that moment again. Everyday is our last chance at that day! How do we want to spend it? Every conversation is the last time we will have that conversation, that moment with that person, what is the mark we want to leave? What is our legacy? What do we want to be known for? That’s how we would be spending our last days.
I wouldn’t fear, I’m dying anyways. I wouldn’t wait, this moment is all I have. I wouldn’t waste, this is my only opportunity.
This is one reason I love the ocean. It is magnificent and I do not get it everyday, so when I am there, my soul just wants to sit and breathe it in. My eyes want to absorb every last ounce of it until it is burned into my memory like a brand. My ears want to record every sound. I want to taste the salt and feel the rush of the waves. I don’t want to miss a moment of this majestic enterprise because I know my time in its presence is so limited, and therefore, so very valuable. I want to live life like that, like I do at the ocean. With great appreciation and intention. Like it is limited and valuable. Because it is!
I say regularly to my best friend and I am saying to you now, stand up and take your place in the room. Everything you need is within you, rise up and let that person come out. Be bold, uninhibited by the opinions of others or the fear of failure. The world needs you.
God has planted eternity in your heart, he designed you, a masterpiece, and planned all your days. He knows exactly how to use all the good and all the bad to create a purposeful existence that always interweaves into “very good!” Trust him. He knows the way.
If you hear that still small voice, do it! At the end, you find God and you find you! The you God knew all along, The You that, while this life does create the intensity and struggle that produces growth and crafts you into a powerful instrument of creativity and goodness, it does not require the flailing and thrashing, and fear driven fight that comes from trying to be “enough”!
Friend, you are enough! You always were! You always will be! Fear not!! You are perfectly imperfect, just as God always knew you would be. Be that! Rest in that! Be you! Float.