I have been thinking about emotions like rooms in a house and decided to take you on a little journey through the various rooms that make up this house. Imagine that your emotions are like different rooms, each with its unique atmosphere and energy. Let’s take a tour through the happy room, the sad room, the anxious room, the grateful room, the excited room, and more. How much time are we spending in each room, and how we might rearrange this schedule to increase our overall well-being?
The Happy Room: Ah, the happy room, where sunshine spills through the windows and laughter echoes in the air. It smells like warm vanilla and campfire. Spending time here is like basking in the warm sunlight on the sands of the ocean, or maybe that is just my happy place. What would it feel like to be in your happy room? What do you deliberately add to your life to ensure you have this space and spend time there?
The Sad/Depressed Room: In this room, the walls might feel heavy and dark, and shadows linger. Everything is harder here. This is where we go to sit with loss and disappointment. It’s okay to visit this room; we all do and should. Ignoring our ‘hard’ feelings does not heal them, they simply come out in other, less controlled ways. But it does us great damage to spend too much time here. Even in the midst of something sad, we still have other rooms to balance the overall impact. Sometimes, a good cry and a moment of reflection can refresh and restore some hope, allowing us to move forward. Bring a journal, or a friend. If you’re going to be here, use the time to work towards healing, don’t just soak in the bad stuff. Additionally make sure that whatever is making you feel down is truth, facts, not meanings we’ve applied to neutral events.
The Anxious Room: The anxious room may have a flickering light, casting shadows that play tricks on our minds. This is where we go to worry. In this room there are lots and lots of what if’s and possible problems. Worry is about something that cannot be solved because it hasn’t happened yet or it’s in the past. We can do nothing about. Spending too much time here can be draining. Let’s open the windows, breathe deeply, and explore what you actually fear, the likelihood of its occurrence, and if there is anything that can be done about it right now. Then trust that you will handle whatever comes.
The Grateful Room: A room bathed in warm, golden light, the grateful room is a haven of appreciation. It has beautiful art and photos of all our fun memories. Gratitude has been shown to have a similar effect as an antidepressant. Look around, take note of the good things, deliberately! Spend a little extra time here, and watch how it transforms your perspective and brings balance to the hard stuff.
The Excited Room: The excited room buzzes with energy and anticipation. It’s where dreams take flight and possibilities abound. In this room live hope and belief in the good things. Some people don’t want to get “too excited, just in case.” Seriously, get excited, if this go wrong, you’ll be disappointed either way but when you allow yourself to be excited you get the experience of excitement whether the anticipated thing happens or not. Similarly, if you numb out and avoid being excited you will feel the dull ache whether the anticipated thing happens or not. Which is better? When was the last time you let yourself get carried away by the excitement in this room? Or planned something to get excited about.
What other rooms are in your internal house? What does it feel like to be there? Other possible rooms could be a prayer room, self-care room, self-compassion room, acts of kindness to others room, the angry/frustrated room, or my favorite the creative dreamer’s room.
Now, the real question is, how can we intentionally move through these rooms and create a more balanced living space within ourselves?
Tips for Changing Rooms:
- Mindful Awareness: Take a moment to check in with yourself regularly. What room are you currently in? Notice it without judgment.
- Emotional Hygiene: Just like we clean our physical spaces, our emotional house needs some cleaning up. Reflect on what emotions you want to let go of and what you want to invite in.
- Balancing Act: Life is best when lived in balance. Make sure that you’re not neglecting any room for too long. Sometimes, a quick visit to the happy room or the grateful room can brighten your mood. Have you ever gone to another room for something and when you got there forgot what you came for? This is true of switching any emotional room, we can leave behind or take a break from unhelpful rumination by deliberately changing rooms, literally and figuratively.
- Invite Guests: Share your emotional space with others. Connection can bring warmth and comfort to any room.
Remember, you get to decide how your emotional house will look. Embrace the full spectrum of emotions, like keys on a piano, they all have purpose. Visit each room with intention. Create a place where you feel fully accepted and you love to be. Cheers to a uniquely furnished and beautifully lived-in inner space!