I say this for both the introverts and the extraverts. Introversion is a personality trait. It is neither good nor bad; it just is. And although our culture has presented the message that extraversion is the healthy, most confident way to be, I contest! Being YOU is the healthiest, most confident way to be!
We might hear things like:
- “You just need to get out more.”
- “You need to reach out for help when you’re feeling down.”
- “You need better communication skills so you feel less stressed at a gathering”
- “You must have social anxiety or are stuck up if you don’t like to make or take a phone call, like to plan ahead for who you’ll be talking to and sitting with before attending a social gathering with many people you do not know well, or if you hide in the next aisle pretending you did not see that person you know and praying they do not stop to talk to you.”
- “Text messages are not real communication, they are so impersonal.We are just losing our communication skills with all this social media”
These statements are just not absolute truth.
- Sometimes, being home, taking care of yourself, doing what you like is exactly what you need.
- Sometimes, space to think and feel without the distraction of others is best for you.
- Introverts are narrow and deep in their relationships while extraverts are about breadth and are energized by ‘a little bit of everyone.’ The introvert’s ‘deep and narrow’ style is not appropriate for all social interactions. So large gatherings of familiar or unfamiliar people or running to an acquaintance unexpectedly while shopping, while often exhilarating for the extravert, is a stress producing use of inauthentic energy to an introvert, not social anxiety.
- Texting has offered space for the thinker to have time to speak. It has taken the pressure off of the face to face, and increased intimacy in many ways. Just as with anything, it can be misused, but when used well, texting, writing, or messaging can deepen communication, remove excessive emotional interference from conflict resolution, and increase connectedness in our busy world.
Trying to become something that you are not is inauthentic and robotic and often makes us more anxious and depressed and absolutely exhausted!
Get to know yourself and those you love without unnecessary ‘shoulds’ and expectations. Study each other, so that the meaning we apply to others’ actions is based on how they think and function rather than on how we do. Let’s not mindlessly buy into messages of right and wrong, should and should not; instead, lets increase curiosity, believe the best, and support the harmless natural tendencies of being human.