Communication is like playing a game of catch – a cooperative interaction between pitcher (message sender) and the catcher (message receiver). The pitcher seeks to send the best pitch they can, aiming directly for the catcher’s glove, but should the pitcher miss the target, there is an expectation that the catcher will jump for the ball. Communication is like this: a two-way responsibility, two people working with one another for the win.
1. The Pitcher’s Responsibility: Making the Message Catchable
Just as a skilled pitcher adjusts their throw to make it easy for the catcher to grasp, effective communicators work their messages thoughtfully. Clear, concise, and considerate language enhances the chances of a win-win interaction. The pitcher’s goal is to minimize misunderstandings and increase the chances that the message will be received, not just heard by choosing the right words, tone, and context, much like adjusting the pitch to fit the catcher’s strengths.
Whether it’s using appropriate body language, providing context, or being mindful of the listener’s perspective, the pitcher seeks to create an environment where the message is not only heard but also understood.
2. The Catcher’s Responsibility: Jumping for the Bad Pitches
Even the best pitchers throw an occasional curveball, and similarly, not all messages will be perfectly delivered. This is where the catcher’s responsibility comes into play. No matter the quality of the pitch, the catcher must be ready to jump, adjust, and make an effort to catch the message.
A curveball might look like the use of the words like always or never. We all know to try to avoid words like always or never but sometimes they sneak out and listeners can get stuck on these words then begin to debate them which steer away from the intended message. However, just like catcher receiving bad pitch I can stay still, holding my glove, and insist the hit the target before I catch which breaks the flow of the back and forth, as the listener, I can insist that the speaker say it accurately, which stunts the flow of emotional communication. Or like the catcher that leaps for the win, I can reframe in my mind that what is meant is ‘right now it feels like this happens a lot’ and make room for the full expression.
In communication, this means active listening, asking for clarification when needed, and being open to understanding even when the message is not conveyed with perfection.
It’s remembering that it is not necessary to agree with the message to receive it, the goal is understanding, not agreement. Agreement says, “I agree, you should feel or think or see things as you do” which is rare given varying personality types, perspectives, and experiences. Whereas, understanding says, “I hear you and see you and, given that, get how you feel that way.” Understanding does not require my opinion; it requires my heart to be open and curious. As long as I am not being asked to do anything accept to listen and care. My opinion is irrelevant. Filtering other’s thoughts and feelings through my opinion is like saying, ‘first, I must approve in order for you to feel or think as you do’ and I am just not that smart.
Jumping for the bad pitches implies a commitment to the conversation, a willingness to engage, and an acknowledgment that communication is a joint effort. It is an offering of a safe space to be heard and cared about. It is a display of love.
3. The Synchronicity of the Game
The beauty of playing catch lies in its back-and-forth nature, a rhythm that requires both players to be engaged. Similarly, effective communication is a collaborative dance between the speaker and the listener. It’s about finding a shared rhythm where messages are sent and received with mutual understanding.
Just as well-practiced teamwork in baseball can anticipate each other’s moves, good communicators are attuned to one another enhancing their ability to work through difficult topics, fostering a connection built on empathy, respect, and understanding.
4. Improving Your Pitch and Catch Skills
Like any game, honing your communication skills takes practice. Whether you’re a seasoned speaker or a receptive listener, there are ways to enhance your abilities:
- Pitcher’s Practice:
- Choose your words thoughtfully.
- Be mindful of your body language.
- Consider the listener’s perspective.
- Catcher’s Practice:
- Actively listen without interruption. Be open and curious and avoid filtering through your own opinion.
- Ask clarifying questions when needed.
- Be open to diverse communication styles and listen for overall theme and meaning.
- Avoid defensiveness: just because someone thinks or feels something does not make it fact and will not change the truth. Unless they are sending you to jail, there is no need to defend yourself.